I’m addicted to the drama
I’m addicted to the pain
I’m addicted to this feeling that won’t go away
I like to watch you suffer
Something wrong with me
Something has broken I can’t fix
I’m addicted to the way
I’m addicted to the same
I’m addicted to these feeling that won’t go away
Pushing myself to this point
Driving home all these emotions
A nail into my brain
Failed lobotomy
Failed excuse to start over
Because I’m so addicted to you and me
I’m addicted to the way this feels
Over and over
An eternity with everything to say
Without saying a thing
Lost and in the way

There’s nothing left of the words in my head…

Mouth so precious, teeth designed to grind
Chewing me up only to spit me out
What was the point all along?
A loneliness that stabs at my heart
A puzzle put together with confusion
A haste that only God could dictate
Blind to all things that drive me insane
Always at war with your ignorance
A battle that can’t be won
A war from all sides of my brain
Drinking to ease the pain of a war torn existence
Drunk to understand the things I’ve become
My inhibitions are limited to my needs
Broken and you’ve left me for dead
Shattered and it never mattered
Empathy is for the weak
What has this place done to me?

Below the surface for way too long… 

Peeling back the skin, digging deeper into me
The layers come apart so easily
A shell of who I used to be
A husk of who I think I am
An asshole with too much shit to say
Ripping apart the flesh, digging deeper into me
The skin so fragile
A fucked up part of me
Fucked from the beginning
Left me grinning and scattered
So apart from what I want to be
Losing every part of me
Who am I without my needs?
A constant theme I can’t escape
Starting to think it is only me
Please forgive me
I know not what I do
I know not what I say
I know not what excuses I’ve used today

Broken Thoughts about nothing at all… another day down as I live out what I have left… A constant theme devoid of all tranquility… can’t seem to shut it off today… Okay, it is the drinking… haven’t been drinking for the last few weeks… Been feeling too dizzy to process much of anything… No idea what happened there, but I’m back to normal mostly… the feeling comes and then it goes… a new function to my life I suppose… don’t worry because I don’t… 

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