Time is going by so slow
Looks so familiar not the same as before
Waiting for a plan to come to an end
Taking so much longer than I thought
Lost in this place between the space
Wallowing in your wake
Wondering how much of this
We were meant to take
A desperation that turns to despair
Questioning reality until I no longer care

The feelings will pass.. the problems will persist…

A beautiful darkness
Hurt feelings
No repair
This has dragged on
Long enough
Too afraid to say
Raised in your image
But not the same
Set standards
Of beliefs
Not the same
In any other way
Too afraid to say
The wrong thing
Held hostage
By your generosity
No longer a gift
A burden I must carry
From the cradle
To the grave
Not much has changed
Nothing is meant
To stay the same
Stuck in the past
How it was
Not how it actually is
Left behind
When I wasn’t there
Didn’t see it then
But I get it now
Unfortunately

Never was what I thought I was… Me of course… and no one else…

Thought maybe we could agree on something
Knew I was wrong from the start
Some people only want to watch
Thought maybe you’d have changed
Knew I was wrong from the start
Some people are only just selfish enough
To understand that they exist at all

Truth among lies… I’ve been busy… living I guess… working on new ideas… maybe… digging a hole in the back yard… for a new Zen garden and not for any other sordid reasons… home improvement… I’m very unsure… Not really sure of much as of late… know that I need to get more work done… know that I need to manifest time in some capacity… know that my dreams are bigger than my ambitions… so not much has changed… in all the years I have spent chasing something that isn’t there… Looking forward to many more years amongst the truth among lies… In case you were worried… read too deeply into the words… or have no idea what you’ve stumbled upon…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 4: Best Left Unsaid… 2023