These feelings come over me
Felt them before and forever more
If they could go away
I wouldn’t even know anymore
These feelings wash over me
Waves crashing on the beach
Waves washing up against our feet
Sweeping our existence out to sea
If there was anything left to take
I wouldn’t even know anymore
These memories taking over me
Felt them all before and how I wish
I could never feel them anymore

This depression is more than an expression of thought…

Took me by the wrist and lead me astray
Down towards the bottom of an endless pit
Sinking deeper with every breath
With every thought locked inside my head
This idea of a feeling speak more for me
Than any words I could try to say
This emptiness that I live in

Do you ever get tired of thinking about dark thoughts?… Nope…

Took what it wanted and disregarded the rest
Sharpening bones against the concrete
Chewing on the glass left behind
Sucking the marrow from the bones
Never ate so good in my life
Not sure it was supposed to feel this good
Destroying myself for the pleasure and not the fun
How do you fight a monster from within?
By embracing it with a hug and a grin…

What to say… what to say… about feelings that won’t go away… not much that hasn’t already been said…

Woke up wanting to write and found myself with nothing to say… Day thirty-four… good news is that I’m not keeping track of such stupid things… What did I wake up wanting to write?… The next chapter in my novel would have been a good start… a short story about anything at all would have done fine too… instead I only came up with more broken-up thoughts… got a whole journal of them filling up for the next volume… not so much as far as short stories to go along with them… I have some ideas of course… I am nor have I ever been short on ideas… patience and commitment on the other hand… and their definitions… not so much…

I know I want to work on a group of short stories with a constant theme about religion and forgiveness… I still have more research to do about either one though… I know that I want to work on a group of short stories with a constant theme about love and creation… More to look up and less to think about… Then there is the short story I have stuck in my head about a writer who can’t think or remember what he said… that one is coming together nicely… though I can’t remember what it is really about…

I’m sure I will find something to work on… I always seem to do…