Broken Thoughts… Break The Silence…

Somewhere in the darkness
Just before the light
Lies something so dark
It hides in plain sight
Worlds live and breathe
A price to pay
A debt so low
What could come from this
If nothing at all
Watch the sky as it burns
Even on the darkest nights
Still can see the blood
Who does it bleed for
If not for you and me
The truth so hard to find
When the lies become so easy to digest

Ideally my ideals don’t mean much to me…

A bible left on a bench
Verses stuck in my head
Bleeding for a cause
Dying for the dead
Wait out the end of the world
Cautiously continuing what’s already been done
Too afraid to try anything new
Coughing up blood from all the fun
Destroying everything I love
If I knew why I’d tell you
Locked away in my mind
All that matters at the time

Deep rooted sense of entitlement…

Taking this one step at a time
Taking it one step further than Christ
Gave up all my sins
Now there’s nothing left
Dragging myself up the cross once again
The pain comes on fast than slow
Growing old with so much left to go
Who am I if I am without sin
Who am I to beg for forgiveness
Drinking blood to understand where this began
The body begs the question of what have I done
Said you’d never leave now here I stand
All alone with nowhere to go

Feels the same only worse…

Easier to lie than to live your life
Spitting blood for the taste
Waiting out the storm of our lives
Hidden in the dark never had a reason why
Feel as though all of this has been said before
Giving into the reason why
Without context doesn’t make much sense
Nothing ever really does
Picking out the parts that I like
So broken left dead inside
Who I’ve always wanted to be

Broken Thoughts

Been trying to get back into Twitter lately… been very lazy or very busy… depends on where your sympathies lie… stack of canvases that need to be finished… worked on… done something with… a stack of ideas that need to be worked on as well… I keep piling it on… forcing myself to take on more… spend the time wondering why?… have I always been this way?… am I only noticing it now after all this time… always moving… always going… what does it mean to sit still?… in my broken… warped mind… it means certain death… a fallacy I want to believe… rather than one I need to believe… so there has been that as well…

Me trying to relax… and dare I say… have fun… it isn’t going well… I don’t get it… I don’t like it… but I know I need it… I need to learn to enjoy what I have before it is gone… those around me… my friends… my family… society as a whole… there is some shitty metaphor about how no one is an island… true even if I keep trying to disprove such a thought… a notion… that I could be wrong… all of this is weighing on me… my mind… the question… what do I want from life?… 

I have no idea… I spent so much time avoiding the question… running from it… putting things in front of it to hide behind… nothing stops it… like the great Jason Voorhees that fucking question just keeps coming… except maybe one thing… one possible outcome to put this damn demon to rest… an answer… a solution to the problem and question… and that is the real issue… I don’t have an answer… I don’t have a realistic idea of what I want… all I have is a fantasy… a lie.. I keep telling myself to get by… as we all know… we can only lie for so long until the lie falls apart… 

That was a lot to lay on you… and this is yet another moment that I will dwell on… where does all this come from?… now you know… even if it is only a glimpse of how I see the world… see myself in it… been human for so long… ready to be so much more… time will tell if any of this ever gets better… 

Looking Deeper Into The Soul…

A Lie… A Novel… Out Now…

Where did this all begin? The hurt… the pain… the confusion… the lies…

“Everything is fine. Everything is how it is supposed to be. Lie to yourself long enough and everything will be fine. Right?” A lie is the story of where all this began. For one of us at least. Struggling through life during a time when nothing feels certain. Our hopeless character figures out what it means to survive when everything is taken away… Walks away… Goes away… How it feels or how it is? Trying to regain a sense of reality won’t be easy as everything comes closing in. As the depression comes settling in and the desperation grows.

Layne Ambrose holds nothing back as he explores themes of self-discovery and isolation in a day-to-day struggle with a town and life on the brink of collapse. Desperation can and does come from anywhere. Finding solace at the bottom of a bottle… and any substance to escape these new found feelings. A lie can only be stretched so far before the truth is exposed. What is real and what isn’t? When everything feels like a lie inside your head?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 3: Chasing Ghosts…

I thought writing was time consuming… video editing is proving to take twice as long… hope you enjoyed the video… find more on my Instagram… with sound… Broken Thoughts Vol. 3… is available on Amazon… along with the first two volumes… No need to have read the first two… All three volumes contain short stories… poems… and plenty of thoughts…

Hope All Is Well…

Looking Deeper Into The Soul…

A Lie… A Novel… Out Now…

Where did this all begin? The hurt… the pain… the confusion… the lies…

“Everything is fine. Everything is how it is supposed to be. Lie to yourself long enough and everything will be fine. Right?” A lie is the story of where all this began. For one of us at least. Struggling through life during a time when nothing feels certain. Our hopeless character figures out what it means to survive when everything is taken away… Walks away… Goes away… How it feels or how it is? Trying to regain a sense of reality won’t be easy as everything comes closing in. As the depression comes settling in and the desperation grows.

Layne Ambrose holds nothing back as he explores themes of self-discovery and isolation in a day-to-day struggle with a town and life on the brink of collapse. Desperation can and does come from anywhere. Finding solace at the bottom of a bottle… and any substance to escape these new found feelings. A lie can only be stretched so far before the truth is exposed. What is real and what isn’t? When everything feels like a lie inside your head?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

Broken Thoughts… Begging Me To Stay…

The skin bleeds as the knife digs deeper
My skin spreads open revealing bone
The skin peels back as I pull
My skin lies in a pile on the floor
The skin is a metaphor for something I don’t know
My skin is missing but I am whole
Who I’ve always been
A separation between skin and man

Forever is forever and eternity is only for a second…

Every silver car and every crowded stream
I’m sick of always chocking on your dreams
Starting to get to me, finding a way in
All the leftovers of your evil ways
Clogged arteries and every fast food chain
How many different ways do you need to die
Go ahead discuss, I’m all ears
Beat me over the head with your fears
Here are a few of mine
That all of this won’t sink in
Okay I have more
Not enough time to give a fuck
Dancing on the way to our deaths
Join the conga line you un-American prick
Subscribe here to submit your like
They make the difference we couldn’t commit
How can we fail if we’re already dead
How could any of this ever matter
Except for in our heads

Thought is thought but suffering is for a lifetime…

Can you see everything you’ve become
Every little thing you have done
Like memories burning in the sun
Feel every ray and question why
Projections of thoughts against the wall
Reflecting on nothing at all
In some way became something
Each and everything
Apart of something bigger
Picture unclear, vision blurry
Think one day I’ll know
By then it will be too late
Time has a way of reflecting
The things locked inside our minds
Now is not the time or place
But at the end it all becomes clear
So we hope, so we believe
Kneeling down to you
Standing before the altar of time
All the signs pointing in every direction
All the paths wide open
What do I do?… 

Broken Thoughts

Got a little weird with it today… felt like a weird day to me… maybe because I actually got some sleep?… unsure been awhile since this has happen to me… anyone with kids will understand this next part… had the night off from my daughter… had the whole night to do anything I wanted… so I chose to sleep… and we can all agree I made the best choice… 

Corruption and It Grows…

Would Like to Say

Smell of ashes in the air
Worlds on fire
No one, not me, not you, no one at all
Cares
How long has this been coming?
How long have we been waiting?
Revolution not measured in inches
But miles
Decades fall to the wayside
Time lost while others survived
Blink and you’d miss it
Young, the youth know nothing of sacrifice
Though they will after they’ve died
A joke, a crime, criminal
That our own people starve
While our concerns are sent abroad
A joke, a crime, criminal
That we spend more on blowing shit up
Then to take care of those at home
We come in peace to pick up the pieces
We’ve come to sell you freedom
One broken promise at a time

Merch… Teespring… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

Looking Deeper Into The Soul…

A Lie… A Novel… Out Now…

Where did this all begin? The hurt… the pain… the confusion… the lies…

“Everything is fine. Everything is how it is supposed to be. Lie to yourself long enough and everything will be fine. Right?” A lie is the story of where all this began. For one of us at least. Struggling through life during a time when nothing feels certain. Our hopeless character figures out what it means to survive when everything is taken away… Walks away… Goes away… How it feels or how it is? Trying to regain a sense of reality won’t be easy as everything comes closing in. As the depression comes settling in and the desperation grows.

Layne Ambrose holds nothing back as he explores themes of self-discovery and isolation in a day-to-day struggle with a town and life on the brink of collapse. Desperation can and does come from anywhere. Finding solace at the bottom of a bottle… and any substance to escape these new found feelings. A lie can only be stretched so far before the truth is exposed. What is real and what isn’t? When everything feels like a lie inside your head?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

Looking Deeper Into The Soul…

A Lie… A Novel… Out Now…

Where did this all begin? The hurt… the pain… the confusion… the lies…

“Everything is fine. Everything is how it is supposed to be. Lie to yourself long enough and everything will be fine. Right?” A lie is the story of where all this began. For one of us at least. Struggling through life during a time when nothing feels certain. Our hopeless character figures out what it means to survive when everything is taken away… Walks away… Goes away… How it feels or how it is? Trying to regain a sense of reality won’t be easy as everything comes closing in. As the depression comes settling in and the desperation grows.

Layne Ambrose holds nothing back as he explores themes of self-discovery and isolation in a day-to-day struggle with a town and life on the brink of collapse. Desperation can and does come from anywhere. Finding solace at the bottom of a bottle… and any substance to escape these new found feelings. A lie can only be stretched so far before the truth is exposed. What is real and what isn’t? When everything feels like a lie inside your head?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

Something Different…

Broken Soul

Even when we try to let it go
It goes nowhere, but straight to the heart
Wearing myself thin, dead skin mask
Stretched so tight, who am I supposed to be
If I can’t be you
Envision myself to be better
Lies I tell myself to get by
Broken boned and everything I despise
Two more days and I’ll be okay
Keep telling myself the same old shit
Beating my head against the wall
Soon all the thoughts will flow out
Soon all that is wrong will be right again

Today was the day we died
We said we hadn’t
But I guess I lied
Smiled all the same
No one missed the exit
But no one knows where it is
Makes it easier
I guess
Take the next right
Hope for the best
Spiraling out into a fire
No one knows what it is
They are even looking for
Given up to give in
Makes sense in the end
Go ahead and give it
What it needs
Too much thought wasted
On what is and what could have been
I think, I do, but who knows
Dancing in the ashes of our souls
What happens when we’ve all gone to hell?
I can’t have a pity party
Every time you feel depressed
I’m running out of cake and shit to say

digging through the past… to understand how I feel in the present… finding inspiration in nothing… hard to be inspired by all the shit around me… have a wonderful day… 

Merch… Teespring… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

Broken Thoughts

It’s been a minute…

Gave up more than I’m willing to admit
Pushed it away like it meant nothing
Lied to myself and wonder why I’m so fucked up
Liar, cheat, piece of shit
My anxiety starts right here with me
Gave away more of me then I’d like to admit
God can judge me and the devil can have me
Already knew I belonged to a worthless existence
Wish it wasn’t so easy to feel like this
Gave up so much already
How much more am I willing to give
After it is all said and done

Breaking up the moments of everyday life…

16 hours ago who knows where I was
But 16 hours from now I know exactly where I’ll be
Stuck here thinking about you again
Rotting brain but somehow it all seems okay
Even if the thoughts of murder, suicide, experimentation
Are deemed mildly insane
32 hours spent drowning you in your own blood
Was well worth the lack of sleep
Prison sentence, maybe not, maybe I never left
Always been locked inside my head
Sure it bothers you in some way
Completely normal
Doubt I’d ever do it, never know until you push
Not everything we think, we say
Can be normal in every way

The bitching becomes routine and only you know why…

Picking up the pieces that are left of my life
I’m not sure how much of it can be put back in place
Spent too long thinking there was no end in sight
Neglected everything around me
My friends, my family, everything but myself
Selfishness, who I am, who I’ve always been
Excuses I tell myself to justify my actions
Unforgiving and out of touch
The pieces slip through my hands
Trail of blood, a trail of pain, a stream of consciousness
All the little fears I tell myself to get by
Smash my head into place

Merch… Teespring… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter