A Lie… A Novel…

A Lie… A Novel… Out Now…

Where did this all begin? The hurt… the pain… the confusion… the lies…

“Everything is fine. Everything is how it is supposed to be. Lie to yourself long enough and everything will be fine. Right?” A lie is the story of where all this began. For one of us at least. Struggling through life during a time when nothing feels certain. Our hopeless character figures out what it means to survive when everything is taken away… Walks away… Goes away… How it feels or how it is? Trying to regain a sense of reality won’t be easy as everything comes closing in. As the depression comes settling in and the desperation grows.

Layne Ambrose holds nothing back as he explores themes of self-discovery and isolation in a day-to-day struggle with a town and life on the brink of collapse. Desperation can and does come from anywhere. Finding solace at the bottom of a bottle… and any substance to escape these new found feelings. A lie can only be stretched so far before the truth is exposed. What is real and what isn’t? When everything feels like a lie inside your head?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

“Not sure which part of the story hurts the most. Really took me for a ride that at times I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on, but knew I needed to. From start to finish I love how it all comes together with every twist and turn.”
Korbin Copy, Always Updating Never Improving

Broken Thoughts… I’m Over It…

Breaking down the walls that surround your rules
On how things are supposed to be
Nothing is supposed to be anything
How things are, are not that way at all
Time has shown us nothing
Time keeps going whether right or wrong
The rules are not the rules at all

Falling apart at a low speed…

Became everything I never wanted to be
A hypocrite, a liar, shattered
Search for the answers through the ruble
We think we understand but we have no idea at all
Trapped in a world that doesn’t forgive, only forgets
Stuck in a place without a thing to say
Knees pressed against the concrete
More said the more we are driven under
The times they aren’t a changing
Only coming back again
A suffocating wave of everything we’ve ever said

Coming apart at the seams…

My anger it doesn’t subside
My feelings are taking me to my grave
Smile real big, it doesn’t hurt after all
Does it hurt?
Do I care?

Keeps going anyway
The same fucking smile craved into my face
I hate myself but more than I could hate you
Ask me again, what was the fucking question?
Breaking bones, breaking souls, breaking down
How much of this is really okay to take in?
And how much of this am I supposed to let go?
Prescriptions running low
How much more do you really need to know?

Broken Thoughts

 

Chasing Ghosts… Broken Thoughts…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 3: Chasing Ghosts… Out Now…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 3: Chasing Ghosts… continues Ambrose’s dissection of self through short stories, poetry, and broken thoughts. Full of rage, passion, love, and understanding. Ambrose goes deeper than ever before chasing more than ghosts into the darkness.

Stories Exclusive to this Volume…

Awaken: Something has awoken through the haunting madness of nightmares. Something dark and sinister. A lifetime of struggle with demented images leads to one fateful night as the Church of the Abandoned come to reap what they have long sowed so many years ago. Expanding further into the cult that is the abandoned. When God calls upon you… How will you answer?

Dead Body Moving: Everything is going well. Better than well really. Only not everything on the surface is as it appears. On his way to run an errand for his job Ambrose will discover more than he bargained for in this twisted tale. The cost for a little peace of mind isn’t for everyone.

2 Days In the Sun: Stuck in the desert with nowhere to go Owen’s options aren’t looking good. Stay put and die in the unforgiving heat or walk the twenty miles to the nearest town under the same conditions. In this heat and a warm bottle of water Owen should be there in no time. Follow Owen as he mingles with the eclectic locals in his search for help.  

The Pale Girl: Early preview chapter to the forthcoming novel Blood Letter. In the early days of America something wicked this way comes. A beautiful and mysterious woman has arrived at the plantation and has sparked emotions never felt before in one of the inhabitants. Proving that even in the darkest of places love can blossom. Will this new found love be the end of her or the beginning of something more?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

Who knew getting clean would bring out your darker side? Getting clean may have brought out your darker side, but it also brought out another part of you. The part of you that loves and is loved by the few that are close to you. You’re still an abrasive asshole by nature, but there is another layer there now. You’ve entered a new era that I can’t wait to explore and for others to explore.

Valerie Hannigan, Where the Dead Things Grow

There was once a frog. This frog danced and it sang. Screamed with joy at the top of its little lungs. Then one day a teacher handed a thirteen-year-old the frog and a scalpel. “Pin each part of the frog to a board,” the teacher said. The child excelled with ease. Working through the skin, the muscle, and the bones. Feeling nothing as they went. Dissecting until what was once a frog no longer resembled a frog. Kind of like that.

Edwin Edith Mirken, Fissure

I enjoy the parts where you suffer the most. Nothing in this world brings me more pleasure than to watch you suffer, read about your suffering, and live a life where you suffer. I wish you the most suffering one human can manage. Suffer well.

Jonathan H. Heaney, A Return to January

Chasing Ghosts… Broken Thoughts…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 3: Chasing Ghosts… Out Now…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 3: Chasing Ghosts… continues Ambrose’s dissection of self through short stories, poetry, and broken thoughts. Full of rage, passion, love, and understanding. Ambrose goes deeper than ever before chasing more than ghosts into the darkness.

Stories Exclusive to this Volume…

Awaken: Something has awoken through the haunting madness of nightmares. Something dark and sinister. A lifetime of struggle with demented images leads to one fateful night as the Church of the Abandoned come to reap what they have long sowed so many years ago. Expanding further into the cult that is the abandoned. When God calls upon you… How will you answer?

Dead Body Moving: Everything is going well. Better than well really. Only not everything on the surface is as it appears. On his way to run an errand for his job Ambrose will discover more than he bargained for in this twisted tale. The cost for a little peace of mind isn’t for everyone.

2 Days In the Sun: Stuck in the desert with nowhere to go Owen’s options aren’t looking good. Stay put and die in the unforgiving heat or walk the twenty miles to the nearest town under the same conditions. In this heat and a warm bottle of water Owen should be there in no time. Follow Owen as he mingles with the eclectic locals in his search for help.  

The Pale Girl: Early preview chapter to the forthcoming novel Blood Letter. In the early days of America something wicked this way comes. A beautiful and mysterious woman has arrived at the plantation and has sparked emotions never felt before in one of the inhabitants. Proving that even in the darkest of places love can blossom. Will this new found love be the end of her or the beginning of something more?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

Who knew getting clean would bring out your darker side? Getting clean may have brought out your darker side, but it also brought out another part of you. The part of you that loves and is loved by the few that are close to you. You’re still an abrasive asshole by nature, but there is another layer there now. You’ve entered a new era that I can’t wait to explore and for others to explore.

Valerie Hannigan, Where the Dead Things Grow

There was once a frog. This frog danced and it sang. Screamed with joy at the top of its little lungs. Then one day a teacher handed a thirteen-year-old the frog and a scalpel. “Pin each part of the frog to a board,” the teacher said. The child excelled with ease. Working through the skin, the muscle, and the bones. Feeling nothing as they went. Dissecting until what was once a frog no longer resembled a frog. Kind of like that.

Edwin Edith Mirken, Fissure

I enjoy the parts where you suffer the most. Nothing in this world brings me more pleasure than to watch you suffer, read about your suffering, and live a life where you suffer. I wish you the most suffering one human can manage. Suffer well.

Jonathan H. Heaney, A Return to January

A Lie… A Novel…

A Lie… A Novel… Out Now…

Where did this all begin? The hurt… the pain… the confusion… the lies…

“Everything is fine. Everything is how it is supposed to be. Lie to yourself long enough and everything will be fine. Right?” A lie is the story of where all this began. For one of us at least. Struggling through life during a time when nothing feels certain. Our hopeless character figures out what it means to survive when everything is taken away… Walks away… Goes away… How it feels or how it is? Trying to regain a sense of reality won’t be easy as everything comes closing in. As the depression comes settling in and the desperation grows.

Layne Ambrose holds nothing back as he explores themes of self-discovery and isolation in a day-to-day struggle with a town and life on the brink of collapse. Desperation can and does come from anywhere. Finding solace at the bottom of a bottle… and any substance to escape these new found feelings. A lie can only be stretched so far before the truth is exposed. What is real and what isn’t? When everything feels like a lie inside your head?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

“Not sure which part of the story hurts the most. Really took me for a ride that at times I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on, but knew I needed to. From start to finish I love how it all comes together with every twist and turn.”
Korbin Copy, Always Updating Never Improving

A Lie… A Novel…

A Lie… A Novel… Out Now…

Where did this all begin? The hurt… the pain… the confusion… the lies…

“Everything is fine. Everything is how it is supposed to be. Lie to yourself long enough and everything will be fine. Right?” A lie is the story of where all this began. For one of us at least. Struggling through life during a time when nothing feels certain. Our hopeless character figures out what it means to survive when everything is taken away… Walks away… Goes away… How it feels or how it is? Trying to regain a sense of reality won’t be easy as everything comes closing in. As the depression comes settling in and the desperation grows.

Layne Ambrose holds nothing back as he explores themes of self-discovery and isolation in a day-to-day struggle with a town and life on the brink of collapse. Desperation can and does come from anywhere. Finding solace at the bottom of a bottle… and any substance to escape these new found feelings. A lie can only be stretched so far before the truth is exposed. What is real and what isn’t? When everything feels like a lie inside your head?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

“Not sure which part of the story hurts the most. Really took me for a ride that at times I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on, but knew I needed to. From start to finish I love how it all comes together with every twist and turn.”
Korbin Copy, Always Updating Never Improving

Broken Thoughts… A Passion…

Got to drink for any of this to make any sense
Anything to drain my mind from feeling like this
Breaking apart or so it seems
Becoming the darkness in the shadows of my mind
Not much longer and the devil will be I
Given up so much to not be them
Taken in so much poison to be so far removed
The venom hurt at first, but not anymore
Above all things I have learned
Feeling nothing at all was always the greatest lesson
One more to make this all go away
A broken thought to end them all

Disabled and can’t be repaired…

How long am I willing to wait for everything to be better
How long has it been already
My whole life, nothing’s changed
No matter what I do
My impatience a crutch
My boredom only an excuse
How long am I willing to believe everything will be better
How long has it been already
My whole life, everything changes
No matter what I do
My experiences a crutch
My anticipation only an excuse
To believe this depression will ever leave me

Searching the world for someone who really cares…

A long gasp at the air
Who knew this was it
A long stride into hell
Who knew it could be as cool as this
Broke away only to break in
How we’ve missed it
The signs all pointed North
Been heading South all along
What it is outside the observable universe
More nothing then we can understand
Who knew it was a joke
Wasn’t funny, laughed anyway
Paying attention but no idea what’s been said
Wandering around naked never felt so natural
Wasting time trying to figure it out
No longer running from something
All that matters after so much pain

Broken Thoughts

Been depressed as of late… feeling sorry for myself once again… I hate it… yet I fall right in line… digging myself out takes most of my excuses… sorry energy… I have no reason to feel depressed… but there I sit… staring at the screen… wanting to be here nor there… sitting… doing nothing… pissing myself off at my own laziness… I work like there is a gun held to the back of my head…. but at home?… I stare into a screen… a wall… a mirror… acting as though I have all the time in the world… as though everything will work itself out… I’m all mixed up… setting off the triggers… that leave me lying there… do this to myself… and blame everyone else… talking to myself inside my head once again…

At work I was working on this whole other thing in my head… still am I guess… chewing on the glass… so to speak… the blood drips from my lip… I think I know where it is I must begin… 

Chasing Ghosts… Broken Thoughts…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 3: Chasing Ghosts… Out Now…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 3: Chasing Ghosts… continues Ambrose’s dissection of self through short stories, poetry, and broken thoughts. Full of rage, passion, love, and understanding. Ambrose goes deeper than ever before chasing more than ghosts into the darkness.

Stories Exclusive to this Volume…

Awaken: Something has awoken through the haunting madness of nightmares. Something dark and sinister. A lifetime of struggle with demented images leads to one fateful night as the Church of the Abandoned come to reap what they have long sowed so many years ago. Expanding further into the cult that is the abandoned. When God calls upon you… How will you answer?

Dead Body Moving: Everything is going well. Better than well really. Only not everything on the surface is as it appears. On his way to run an errand for his job Ambrose will discover more than he bargained for in this twisted tale. The cost for a little peace of mind isn’t for everyone.

2 Days In the Sun: Stuck in the desert with nowhere to go Owen’s options aren’t looking good. Stay put and die in the unforgiving heat or walk the twenty miles to the nearest town under the same conditions. In this heat and a warm bottle of water Owen should be there in no time. Follow Owen as he mingles with the eclectic locals in his search for help.  

The Pale Girl: Early preview chapter to the forthcoming novel Blood Letter. In the early days of America something wicked this way comes. A beautiful and mysterious woman has arrived at the plantation and has sparked emotions never felt before in one of the inhabitants. Proving that even in the darkest of places love can blossom. Will this new found love be the end of her or the beginning of something more?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

Who knew getting clean would bring out your darker side? Getting clean may have brought out your darker side, but it also brought out another part of you. The part of you that loves and is loved by the few that are close to you. You’re still an abrasive asshole by nature, but there is another layer there now. You’ve entered a new era that I can’t wait to explore and for others to explore.

Valerie Hannigan, Where the Dead Things Grow

There was once a frog. This frog danced and it sang. Screamed with joy at the top of its little lungs. Then one day a teacher handed a thirteen-year-old the frog and a scalpel. “Pin each part of the frog to a board,” the teacher said. The child excelled with ease. Working through the skin, the muscle, and the bones. Feeling nothing as they went. Dissecting until what was once a frog no longer resembled a frog. Kind of like that.

Edwin Edith Mirken, Fissure

I enjoy the parts where you suffer the most. Nothing in this world brings me more pleasure than to watch you suffer, read about your suffering, and live a life where you suffer. I wish you the most suffering one human can manage. Suffer well.

Jonathan H. Heaney, A Return to January

Chasing Ghosts… Broken Thoughts…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 3: Chasing Ghosts… Out Now…

Broken Thoughts Vol. 3: Chasing Ghosts… continues Ambrose’s dissection of self through short stories, poetry, and broken thoughts. Full of rage, passion, love, and understanding. Ambrose goes deeper than ever before chasing more than ghosts into the darkness.

Stories Exclusive to this Volume…

Awaken: Something has awoken through the haunting madness of nightmares. Something dark and sinister. A lifetime of struggle with demented images leads to one fateful night as the Church of the Abandoned come to reap what they have long sowed so many years ago. Expanding further into the cult that is the abandoned. When God calls upon you… How will you answer?

Dead Body Moving: Everything is going well. Better than well really. Only not everything on the surface is as it appears. On his way to run an errand for his job Ambrose will discover more than he bargained for in this twisted tale. The cost for a little peace of mind isn’t for everyone.

2 Days In the Sun: Stuck in the desert with nowhere to go Owen’s options aren’t looking good. Stay put and die in the unforgiving heat or walk the twenty miles to the nearest town under the same conditions. In this heat and a warm bottle of water Owen should be there in no time. Follow Owen as he mingles with the eclectic locals in his search for help.  

The Pale Girl: Early preview chapter to the forthcoming novel Blood Letter. In the early days of America something wicked this way comes. A beautiful and mysterious woman has arrived at the plantation and has sparked emotions never felt before in one of the inhabitants. Proving that even in the darkest of places love can blossom. Will this new found love be the end of her or the beginning of something more?

Available On Amazon… Kindle… Paperback…

Who knew getting clean would bring out your darker side? Getting clean may have brought out your darker side, but it also brought out another part of you. The part of you that loves and is loved by the few that are close to you. You’re still an abrasive asshole by nature, but there is another layer there now. You’ve entered a new era that I can’t wait to explore and for others to explore.

Valerie Hannigan, Where the Dead Things Grow

There was once a frog. This frog danced and it sang. Screamed with joy at the top of its little lungs. Then one day a teacher handed a thirteen-year-old the frog and a scalpel. “Pin each part of the frog to a board,” the teacher said. The child excelled with ease. Working through the skin, the muscle, and the bones. Feeling nothing as they went. Dissecting until what was once a frog no longer resembled a frog. Kind of like that.

Edwin Edith Mirken, Fissure

I enjoy the parts where you suffer the most. Nothing in this world brings me more pleasure than to watch you suffer, read about your suffering, and live a life where you suffer. I wish you the most suffering one human can manage. Suffer well.

Jonathan H. Heaney, A Return to January

Broken Thoughts… Chutoro Dawn…

We once said yes
We once admitted that love exists
Upon a time there was a me and you
Sixteen counts of murder
Forty five different sins
Had to come down to this at some point
Flashing moments that this could last
Fleeting idea that there was more to this
Upon a time, upon a burning body
Staring into each others eyes
Seventeen counts of murder
Forty six different sins
Had to be a reason this went on for so long
Young love seems so irresponsible
Lust only a reason to drive us on
Upon a time, upon your naked body
The blood drips and the love dies
Eighteen counts of murder
Forty seven different sins
Me and you until the very end

It was like praying to God while the devil stands by your side… 

Standing in the darkness
Staring right through it
Your body lies in pieces
A work of art 
Made of flesh and blood
Hacked off all the limbs
To prove a point
The darkness consumes me
I have to admit
I’m starting to like this
Laughing through the pain
Laughing right through it
Your agony was therapeutic
Chaotic and to the point
Getting right down to the core of it
I’m starting to understand who I really am

We get lost in all these stupid fucking words… 

With marked bullets piercing my chest
There can be no rest

The wicked have fallen to the saints of all things
The lie spread through religion
The lie living within us all
Flames rise up, surrounded by a wall of fire
Breaths become shallow, inhaling the flames
Devil broken, beaten, and gone
The evil lies within
The evil consumes the meek
Massacre in the streets
Blood rises with the tide
Full moon catharsis
Pray for lies to become truth
Pray for soul
All you know locked in a book of lies
Locked away deep in your mind

Broken Thoughts