Broken Thoughts… Nothing Ever Changes…

Defying death the thing I’ve become
Say a prayer for all that you know
Silence falls on your prayer
Beyond my control
Beyond my understanding
Only human, you know what I know
Murder, death, hurt
Respond  to the sins I understand
Look to the past, words
Existence I’ve failed to understand

Suffocating through what I know…

Education was always the plan
Lost on the insecure, lost on the damned
Education was always meant to sustain
A plan no one ever understood
Ignorance sown within our souls
Fuck your thoughts, bull shit plans
Mob rule, mob mentality
I’m owed mine, I’m owed yours
Selfish fuck that I’ve always claimed to be
The reality only a thing
Laughing at your pain
Because the realization is all too late
Sucking on the tail pipe
Slashing away, jerking off to the thought
That all of this makes no sense within the context

Bury me with all that I know…

Painting a picture
Means so much to me
An image buried in my mind
Just like the time I tried to die
A gallery with everything
I’ve been trying to say
Love was, never easy for me
Death makes sense
When I think about it
Giving up was all I ever needed
Wanted more but I never lied
Gave up the will
Gave in to all the things I felt
Wasn’t right
Only what I had at the time

An epic about nothing at all…

Embrace everything you thought
Not special at all
The vision not what we thought
Same as we were anyway
All I was trying to say
Love them all the same

Broken Thoughts

Our parents are all they could be… our parents our us… fight it… believe I am wrong… but know… your parents fuck… your parents have thoughts… your parents are us after all… eww I know… gross… shake off the thought… but know you aren’t a freak… wonder if they feel like you?…  they do… no other reason… than they are human… This whole thing is a shit show… welcome to the stage… smile… let’s move the fuck on… need advice?… ask those around you… it will be awkward… believe me when I say that’s what it means to be an adult… believe me when I say they feel the same…

Shhh… you wanted the secret… well the secret was fucking lame… : )… not trying to be a dick… just saying… not trying to make you throw up… but let’s be honest… your parents have always felt the same… mind-blowing… fucking crazy… hug them all the same… because they did this… dealt with this all… long before you could ever think… fucking heroes… martyrs to the cause of it all… good or bad… they tried their fucking best… what else could you ever ask of them after all?… that’s love… Think about it… come back to me… when you understand… been there for years… just sinking in… Not original… only a copy… excuse me as I throw up at the thought… only human after all… haha… never been better than you… Never been better than the heroes I’ve loved… only human… hard at the thought… embrace my part… embrace who I am after all… why the fuck do you listen to me at all?… 

Broken Thoughts… I’m Over It…

Breaking down the walls that surround your rules
On how things are supposed to be
Nothing is supposed to be anything
How things are, are not that way at all
Time has shown us nothing
Time keeps going whether right or wrong
The rules are not the rules at all

Falling apart at a low speed…

Became everything I never wanted to be
A hypocrite, a liar, shattered
Search for the answers through the ruble
We think we understand but we have no idea at all
Trapped in a world that doesn’t forgive, only forgets
Stuck in a place without a thing to say
Knees pressed against the concrete
More said the more we are driven under
The times they aren’t a changing
Only coming back again
A suffocating wave of everything we’ve ever said

Coming apart at the seams…

My anger it doesn’t subside
My feelings are taking me to my grave
Smile real big, it doesn’t hurt after all
Does it hurt?
Do I care?

Keeps going anyway
The same fucking smile craved into my face
I hate myself but more than I could hate you
Ask me again, what was the fucking question?
Breaking bones, breaking souls, breaking down
How much of this is really okay to take in?
And how much of this am I supposed to let go?
Prescriptions running low
How much more do you really need to know?

Broken Thoughts

 

Things To Do When There’s Nothing To Do…

Start Over…

Said everything there is left to say
It is almost time to stop all this shit
Been on the fringe of a nervous breakdown
Searching for the right things to say
Nothing comes to mind, stay silent
Taught us well now it’s time to show what we’ve learned
At an impasse of great importance
Stand before you, surrounded, know what needs
To be done but will you?
The point is the time
Becoming too late as the next set runs us over
No more time left to live
How it has always been?
The world passes us by at an alarming rate
Fewer of us needed to sustain a comfortable life
Still too many of us left stomping on the ground
No idea what to do?
Strip the world into nothing to sell it right back
What else is there to do?
The poison sowed into the very fabric of who we are
Tear your eyes from the screen and look around
Why would we ever?
Guilty, don’t know a better way
Purge ourselves to save the rest from what we’ve become
Don’t know a better way to solve this problem
Wouldn’t do it myself but would you?
The words don’t seem to reach those above us
Not too sure they’d even notice we were gone
Do you even know them?
Dollars and sense maybe wasn’t the best way to go about this
Already heard it all before, time to start over
We’re we ever in control?

A little dark today… haha… might be a running theme through my head… a little crazy mixed in there too… working on a short story… the first in a long time… don’t want to say too much… kind of excited at the idea… mostly because I have no idea where it is going to end… when you will be able to read it… I have no idea… I just thought you should know… 

Corruption and It Grows…

Would Like to Say

Smell of ashes in the air
Worlds on fire
No one, not me, not you, no one at all
Cares
How long has this been coming?
How long have we been waiting?
Revolution not measured in inches
But miles
Decades fall to the wayside
Time lost while others survived
Blink and you’d miss it
Young, the youth know nothing of sacrifice
Though they will after they’ve died
A joke, a crime, criminal
That our own people starve
While our concerns are sent abroad
A joke, a crime, criminal
That we spend more on blowing shit up
Then to take care of those at home
We come in peace to pick up the pieces
We’ve come to sell you freedom
One broken promise at a time

Merch… Teespring… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

Broken Thoughts…

Gunshots in the distance
Another life robbed of its innocence
Plagued by those around me
Fear that maybe were too similar
For existence
Said you’d exist but did we ever
Bleeding thoughts from your mind
Symptoms so familiar
As if I read it off the back of a piece of paper

Stuck somewhere in between here and there…

Think you know what’s wrong with everyday
Breaking down the thoughts to prove how wrong
I like your ideas, so smart of you
So sad just how sad all of this makes us
Like sawing off a limb for no reason at all
Sure we have our reasons but do we?
Time has taught us so much about nothing at all
Where to be when we aren’t needed
Where in the day we’ve started staring at the floor
Who could have known time would have ever been
So important to what we know

Keeping an eye out for so much more… 

Do onto others as they do to you
Only works if you are doing the right thing
But who is right? When we are all wrong?
Think you own me, have no idea what that entails
Are you really ready to take control?
Didn’t think so, so go ahead and let go
Let me know when you’re ready to destroy
Tell me when you know
How horrible it is to grow old
Desolate, destination unknown
Feel your hands gripping my soul
So go ahead and let go
Let it all go…
Carbon copy of those around you
You’re rebelling against what you don’t even know
So different yet all the same
Fit into something…
Hydra with so many heads
The masters never intended for any of this
To survive
Nothing has ever been built to last…

Broken Thoughts

Would seem that these thoughts fall into the political realm… oddly they were written about my job… so not quite as epic in scope… but if you put your life under the microscope you may find that the things happening on a world scale… are also happening right there in front of you… the consequences aren’t as dire as a nuclear blast… but that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt as much as one… think about it… pain is subjective to how you feel… not what someone else can take… we like to compare someone else’s pain to our own… they aren’t comparable… relatable?… sure… do others have it worse?… always… doesn’t down grade your suffering though… as comforting it may be to think about…

If you want to help others… you have to help yourself first… In New York… and possibly other places… we have this theory… saying… whatever… about people falling on ice… Never catch them… Stop them… Let them fall… it sounds awful… what piece of shit person sees someone falling and does nothing?… But there is a reason… can’t help someone if you both are in need of help… who will help the two of you?…

It is things like that… that makes me miss the cold… the bitter truth of life… the honesty of trying to survive… something lost in translation depending on where you live… Same goes for pain… hurt… suffering… no one knows exactly how you feel… that’s what this line means to me… it is me rationalizing that my bosses aren’t just assholes… though they may be… never rule anything out… but rather they are suffering just like me… a different way… sure… everyone is only trying to survive… I double down on this idea with this line… “Fit into something”… This idea that you are in charge is a false idea… there are so few of us on the planet who are actually in charge of our lives… and it isn’t even the ones that you think… those of us that fit into society… locked into in… lack the necessary means to be in control of our lives…

That is what we trade for structure… we trade fear… suffering for peace of mind… but someone forgot to mention… these things can’t be traded… given away… they evolve like a virus… becoming stronger over nothing… we become plagued by these fear that we thought we left… that we forget the point of life is to live… that winning isn’t the mansion… the fast car… the nice clothes… but breathing another day… an idea that is lost in translation… uncomparable between different parts of the earth… some of us have it easier… but better?… what is better?… 

There are things to get angry about and things to just brush aside… the problem with the world isn’t that we are all wrong… it is that we are not focused… “Hydra with so many heads”… No battle is ever won by throwing everything you have at once… it takes focus… no one can truly understand what is going on by trying to figure it all out at once… 

Merch… Teespring… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

“I See The Game… And It Sees Me”…

Desperately Trying To Hold On, For You

Thought about the thoughts
That make us human after all
Thought about the thoughts
That don’t matter at all
Thought maybe then I thought
About it all
All these thoughts I thought
As I waited for the fall

We tell ourselves it matters
We push for results
But in the end as we wait for it all
Nothing made sense
Nothing was all it was
What we think holds value
Holds nothing at all

So I thought about the thoughts
That makes us human after all
I thought about the thoughts
That don’t matter after all
Draw my conclusions
What I found was
Fuck it all

The next generation is so fucked… everything is right now… I need it now… is dinner ready?… no… it takes fucking time… spoiled and they don’t even know why… time is moving so fast… have you figured out yet what you want to be?… left behind… we do this to ourselves and ask why… human reasoning… kiss it all good bye… we need time to step back… say okay… this is the direction we need to go… not enough time… maybe we have always been this way… maybe it is something new… but in the end… what the fuck is going on?… I’m just grumpy… because my walker is in the shop…

Broken Thoughts… Without Me…

I gave it all up for this?
These feelings don’t subside
These feelings grow deeper
Slip into the cracks of my broken heart
Give it another year
Give me a whole lifetime
Waste it once again
If I could do it over
So unsure if I would
Life gets easier with time
Because the will to live
Goes with it
Gave up my soul for something I don’t know
Want It back but I’m so unsure

.Worth barely more than worthless…

At this point, it might just be best to die
A world without me may be the best
Thing for you
Not going to stop until it’s all destroyed
I’ve got some shit to say
You bring out the best in me
Only reason you’re still breathing
You bring out the motivation in me
Only reason you’re still living

Turning all the lies into regret…

I can feel your eyes
Yet you’re not here
Feel your fingers tightening
Around my throat and I’m
Starting to, to think this is all okay
I’m starting to think I never had a say
Starting to believe all is not well
I could go on but by now
The point should be more than clear
Each breath you take is a knife
Every thought a bullet hole
Ripping through my body
Shatter, broken, set my body on fire
Leave me to die already
Can’t commit to something so sinister
Torture so much more humane
Sadistic and satisfying
My breathing becomes shallow
Your smile from ear to ear
If only, if only the world would disappear
My displeasure could go too
Still alive, has to be a reason
So fuck it, let it go
Before you kill me
Drown me in this world

Broken Thoughts

This weeks theme was work and society… society and work?… working on society?… working on myself in the realm of society?… I’m going to have to sit and think about this for a while… 

Merch… Teespring… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

There wasn’t enough blood in this post…

Gasping for the Air that Surrounds Me…

Ark

The darkness surrounds me
As the rain falls down

Over the sky, blood drips down
Signaling only death
I hope you all drown
I hope someday you are found
Bleed me slowly and see
If I’m still alive
You all said I was crazy

Said I didn’t know anything
A child with adult eyes

The cuts they hurt
More in the beginning
Stones casted out, words with so much meaning
What was the point if not intended to hurt

Time has a way of healing broken wounds
Time has a way to make it go away
All of this all over again
Clairvoyant even in the womb
Because I know
I’ve always known
How all of this ends

Gather around, get to together
Pick and choose
But you should know
Not all of you
None of you will be
Here when it is all through
An endless time born to repeat
A drowning, a rebirth, a life destined to live
Born to be who we were always going to be
Keep destroying, keep hurting, keep doing it all
Free will was never a choice
Only a way of life
I never saved anything only kept it going
God spoke to me and I chose

Merch… Teespring… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

A Running Theme… Stampeded Soul…

On My Mind

Well the revolution it happened so fast
It is as though it didn’t happen at all
Left behind to try and figure out the fragments
Shattered reality, pieces that society left behind
Where do we go from here
Should give up and never start again
My thoughts bleed together to the point
It is as though they never existed at all
All of this in my mind or
Am I missing my mind in all of this
Chewing on the pieces
Where do we go from here
Should give up and never start again
Everything falls apart so fast
It is as though it wasn’t together at all
Shattered throughout time, missing pieces
Left rooted in the gums
Blood dripping down my chin
Shoveling, swallowing all the broken pieces
Where do we go from here
Should have given up and never started again
Always on my mind, mind is always on

Ambrose…. (WordPress wants to auto correct my name to Ambrosia… I’m feeling a change coming along…  probably not though… I’m not cool enough to pull a name like that off…) 

Merch… Teespring… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

The Reviews Are In…

This Weeks Winning Review…

“It was actually pretty good.”

Thank You NightRider732…

For your Amazing Review… What A True Funeral Friend…

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